The following ten people are the ones that elevator riders at the Harris County Criminal Justice Center deal with everyday -- much to their chagrin:
10. The "Going Up?" Guy-this is the person who clearly never learned how to read the basic signs of up and down. There are two bulbs on the side of every elevator, dude. If the top one is lit up, that means the elevator is going up. If the bottom one is lit, it's going down. Please don't step on the elevator, hold the door open, and then poll the other occupants as to whether the elevator is going up or down. If you were dumb enough to get on the elevator without looking, just enjoy the ride (up or down).
9. The Klingon Solo Talker -I love technology, but I've yet to jump on the Bluetooth Device phenomenon. The Klingon Solo Talker is the guy (yes, Kevin Howard and Don Hecker, I'm talking about you) who has the futuristic device in his ear and proceeds to have a one sided conversation in the elevator that nobody else wants to hear. Yes yes. We know you have a cell phone. And yes, we realize you are very important. Seriously, finish your damn conversation before you get on the elevator.
8. The "Yes, I know 14 people are waiting, but I'm more important" Attorney-This is the attorney who prevents the door to the elevator from closing while he finishes off a conversation with a cohort, despite the fact that the other people on the elevator would gladly strangle him just to get back to the first floor.
7. The Blockader-we all hate crowded elevators, but this is (usually a female) who will defiantly stand their ground at the front of the elevator, even though there is more room to back up and allow more people on. Their hope is to create a mirage indicating a full elevator, which will, in turn, discourage more people from joining them on the ride. Save the illusions for Vegas, kiddo.
6. The Buddy System Guy-this is the guy (admittedly, usually a prosecutor), that sees his friend coming down the hallway, and, realizing that the elevators come by at a painfully slow rate, holds the door open for his friend, no matter how far away he is. While everyone else on the elevator is tapping their feet impatiently, this guy is doing his buddy a solid. NOTE: The Buddy System Guy is also known as the "Hot Girl Approaching" guy, in the event that a pretty girl needs the elevator held for her. (Yes, I'm talking to you, Mayr.) The pretty girl will appreciate your chivalry. Your fellow elevator riders will want to beat you to death with their file folders.
5. The Recon Guy-this is the guy or gal who isn't really sure what floor they are supposed to get off on to arrive at their court. Rather than get off the elevator and consult the directory posted at every elevator bank, they find it much more practical to hold the door open with one hand while they swing their body out into the hallway to scan around for an indication that they are on the correct floor. This is especially awesome when they are about six floors away from their destination, and repeat this process on every floor in between.
4. The "Say, Are you a Lawyer?" Person-on a less crowded day, any male that gets on a relatively empty car while wearing a tie will get hit up by a defendant who automatically assumes the equation that "Tie = Lawyer", and what better time to get a little free legal advice then when you are trapped on an elevator with somebody?
3. The 351st Floor Folks-these are the idiots who bypass the directory in the lobby under the mistaken assumption that each Court is placed on it's corresponding numerical floor (i.e., Court Three is on the third floor, Court Five is on the fifth, the 351st is on the . . . well, you get the point). Every day, there is a group of befuddled defendants on the fourth floor (which is where the D.A.'s Office is located), asking where Court Four is. You would think that these Real Men of Genius would take note of the fact that the building is generally only twenty stories high, and figure it out from there.
2. The "F--- the Police" Guy-nothing helps relieve a bad day in court for an angry defendant than getting on the elevator and talking about how screwed he got. He throws out terms like "punk ass prosecutor" and "my stupid ass attorney" quite freely as he talks about how the police set him up. Seriously man. We're elevator riders -- not your jury. Give it a rest.
1. The Physics Defiant-oh yeah, we all know this guy. It doesn't matter if the elevator has 73 people on it, dammit, this guy is going to squeeze on. Usually, his butt will cause the safety mechanism on the door to keep from closing, because it sticks out too far. But that doesn't mean he won't give it the Old College Try! While the rest of the elevator patrons are getting to know each other in ways they never hoped to, this guy is hoping against hope that he can defy the Laws of Physics and fit on. Usually after the door fails to close after about three tries, he will reluctantly step off the elevator -- under the hateful glares of everyone else.
I'm sure I'm missing some other categories. Y'all help me out here.