Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Pat Lykos' Accomplishments

For those of you who may have missed it, apparently Pat Lykos took time out of her busy schedule to have her staff write up a memorandum on all of her "accomplishments" she was able to achieve during her first year. Now, never mind the fact that it took her and the Gang Who Couldn't Shoot Straight until freaking September to come up with what they had done so great in 2009, I think it is kind of cute that she did that.

I was especially moved by Lykos' latest sound byte:

"Justice is the highest good and injustice is the worst of the bad," Lykos said.

Lykos then followed that statement by thanking Hannah Chow for being her "bestest friend".

After reading over the review of herself (in which she gives herself very high marks for awesomeness), I realized that old Snooks sold herself short. So, I thought I would help her out with the following Top Ten list:

TOP 10 ACCOMPLISHMENTS LYKOS FAILED
TO RECOGNIZE HERSELF FOR

10. Lost no arguments over the validity of the sodomy law in front of the Supreme Court.

9. Making the office feel safer by having Leitner wear his badge on his belt and introducing him to people as "Festus, my chief deputy."

8. Has successfully boosted morale despite a hiring freeze by the handing out of creative titles in lieu of actual promotions (according to Rear Admiral Roger Bridgwater).

7. Totally kicked Chow's ass in the "upper echelon putt-putt match".

6. Created her own weight-loss video: Chain Smoking to the Oldies.

5. Made Special Crimes truly special by having Bureau Chief Joni Vollman give a hug to all visitors.

4. Instituted the punitive method of "double secret probation" to punish erring prosecutors that was so secret that not even the erring prosecutor would know whether or not he or she was on probation.

3. Successfully invented CrimeStoppers in March.

2. Drastically increased fairness to defendants by encouraging experienced prosecutors to quit.

1. On October 3rd, 2009, she received no letters of resignation.



21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Be nicer to Joni, she's been ill. Lykos farted the other day and Joni had to go to the hospital to be treated for smoke inhalation.

Anonymous said...

What a farce. What about all the good people that were fired, demoted, and/or transferred? Whose head will get in first if Lykos stops real fast, Joni or Chow? Could be a real contest. Enough said about the fiasco in the DA's Office. Only if the public knew. She could give a shit about the staff or real justice. What a joke. It's a shame and sad.

Anonymous said...

Cut those strings Leitner and go back into private practice. She's ruining or ruined your reputation.

Anonymous said...

I've noticed that when Pat talks to the media, she sounds like she's trying to speak on a second-grade level. It's a bit embarrassing, not at all professional. Yet, that's exactly what her tenure has been: a bit embarrassing, not at all professional.

Anonymous said...

Although it apparently took more than eight months of 2010 for Lykos to figure out what the HCDA office had done in 2009, the District Attorney Office Progress Report of 2009 (sic), that is the Lykos report can be fairly characterized as an excercise in "Self Aggrandizement 101" - a report reflecting "one's own welfare or interest in order to make one greater, powerful, or richer." In the past similar reports of this nature were normally prepared only for submission to the Harris County's Commissioner's Court at budget time. With all of its IT frills and fluff this Lykos report, however, has an overwhelming abundance of blank and empty space - at least in that wise it is in harmony and mirrors the hierarchy purveying it for the public's consumption - and in this case more likely its constipation.

Anonymous said...

Too bad she doesn't let many of her line prosecutors attend the annual update.

Wee man Jimmie. Does he really wear a badge on his belt? If he does, I bet the investigators are embarrassed.

Anonymous said...

It's a very pretty report.

Anonymous said...

Per the "2009 year in review",

The following are NEW divisions:

Child Exploitation (bullshit, Eric Devlin was doing that under Chuck)

Protection of the Elderly (wtf? Never seen them take a case, who ever they may be)

Mental Health (Susan Bishop works her ass off here)

Cold Case Fugitive Apprehension (still trying to figure out what Russell actually does)

Post Conviction Review (another bullshit, Baldwin has been here for years working his ass off)

Victims' Rights (seriously bullshit - this has been around for years, nothing like lying about creating this division.)

Animal Cruelty (more bullshit, it's been around for years)

The entire review is a basic summary of the office. It also shows why the admin has gotten harsh on enhancements - they are all about the numbers.

Anonymous said...

Didn't she invent the internet too?

Anonymous said...

I just want to cry

Anonymous said...

She forgot to include how the DAO is now prosecuting child sexual abuse victims' families when they complain about shoddy police work.

Anonymous said...

Everyone seems to be missing the whole point of this slick-paged report prepared by Chronicle cast-offs that Lykos hired soon after taking office. This report is nothing more than Campaign literature prepared at the taxpayers expense. Lykos knows nothing about how to run a District Attorneys Office but she is a master of campaign spin. This publication is her opening salvo for re-election in 2012. You gag me Patty.

Gritsforbreakfast said...

Good God, man, Kelly Siegler lost the election. Get over it.

Can you point to any annual report by any government agency (or corporation, for that matter) that isn't full of self-aggrandizing fluff?

Also, I don't know any of the "long-time prosecutors" whose "obituaries" you regale us with as though they were all murder victims, but frankly after Chuck Rosenthal's ignominious reign, I'm glad to see his inner circle (and even a few middling ones) disbanded and for the department to get some new blood. Some of the whiners commenting anonymously here are probably just the sort of folks who ought to follow them out the door.

A Harris County Lawyer said...

Oh give me a break, Grits,

At some point you've got to come up with a wittier response than the "Kelly lost, get over it" stuff.

I call them like I see them. I know that your agenda when it comes to Lykos is different than mine. But seriously, dude, you work for the Innocence Project. Technically, aren't you supposed to be at odds with Lykos to some degree?

Sorry, but she and her people don't walk on water, and it is annoying as shit to watch her claim credit for stuff that has been in existence for years. I am well aware of your position on people from the "inner-circle" that you thought needed to be removed, but I bet you can't cite any of them by name. You just like the idea of cleansing.

Well, the folks she is "cleansing" out right now were people who were good prosecutors who did the right thing. And when I mean the "right thing", I mean across the board. They weren't scared to dismiss, and they damn sure weren't scared to prosecute either.

Lykos is a crappy, second-rate politician who is a shitty D.A., and whether or not I'm "over" Kelly losing the election will never change that.

Anonymous said...

Grits,
Neither Frank Briscoe, Carol Vance, John Holmes, or even Chuck Rosenthal EVER felt the need to puff themselves with a falsified government document prepared solely for political purposes.

You consistently disregard the fact that Rosenthal inherited a professional, well-run District Attorneys Office. His personal failings had little effect on the quality of the prosecutors that worked there.

Unfortunately for those fine people, Lykos has used Rosenthal's personal failings as an excuse to get rid of anyone who fails to support her ill-conceived, politically-motivated, lame-brain ideas.

Further, she tries to camouflage her inexperience and manic narcissism by claiming she is still "purging" the vestiges of Rosenthal's administration.

Rosenthal had many failings but on his worst day the HCDA office was one of the best there was.

That is not how it is today.

Gritsforbreakfast said...

Murray, what I'd like to see are more posts about "Life at the Harris County Criminal Justice Center" and fewer posts on "Why I hate Pat Lykos." We know you hate Pat Lykos, but you've long ago ceased articulating why and now just call her names and issue schoolyard taunts.

The people leaving the office don't walk on water either. Everybody can be replaced and many of Rosenthal's old cronies should be.

Anonymous said...

Dear Grits for breakfast,
Can you not see the forest for all those trees?

What you are seeing in this blog IS how life is now in the CJC under the Lykos administration.

There were only a few "cronies" of Rosenthal and they were dismissed by Lykos shortly after she took office.

The majority of people who have left since, were the ones that truly represented the good people of Harris County and practiced honorably. There continued exodus is and should be the purpose of this blog.

If you can't see this, no amount of explanation will open your eyes.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, you can count Rosenthal's "cronies" on one hand. As a fan of the office, I actually don't have a problem with the four of them that I would call "cronies" being run off--all were fairly good in trial, but were assholes. The people hired by Holmes and since run off by Lykos are the people who simply carry experience, good judgment, and talent out the door with them....people that any crime victim would be pleased and benefitted to have assigned to their case. That office is about serving--self-serving (the Lykos administration)--is the polar opposite. The innocent victims are harmed again when that job becomes more about politics and less about the individuals footing the bill.

Anonymous said...

I did not see the original broadcast of the story so I had to read it on line. I found it very interesting that Shay, a reporter, simply does that, report what Lykos wants her to report. Shay simply does not do any investigation or work to challenge or verify what Lykos has provided as a report. I also found it interesting Shay went to Joel Androphy for a quote. Of course the quote is a self congratulatory quote recognizing the "good" work done by the press in driving Rosenthal from office. Instead of continuing to congratulate themselves concerning the Rosenthal mess, why not actually look at the conduct of the Lykos administration. I seriously doubt Androphy has any real insight to the operation of the DA's office under both Rosenthal or Lykos. Why not interview Murray or others who have left the office? Why not look for the truth? Now I remember, the Rosenthal mess was handed to the press on a silver plater by a federal judge, to uncover the Lykos mess would require some work.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 11:43 a.m. laments quite fairly the apparent incompetency of reporter Shay in the report of the Lykos' administration 2009 successes. Although the credibility of Shay's report was immediately called into question because of Shay's solicitation of a positive comment or observation from a defense attorney (similar to asking the fox as to whether the hen house should be fenced), Anonymous should accept the fact that the American press has neither credibility, integrity, or honesty. The press has its own agenda, an agenda not in harmony with the majority of America; an America now canceling the rags pretending to be newspapers. One need merely look at the mess they have put this country in, starting at the top and progressing down to Harris County, Texas, to understand why the press should be totally ignored and discounted.

BLACK INK said...

Anon 9;06,

Very well stated.

Notwithstanding, acceptance should not evolve into apathy.

The HCDA's office can withstand four (4) years of Lykos as the Country can withstand four (4) years of Obama. A second term for either would be devastating.