Sunday, December 22, 2013

Top 10 Tips for the Texans to Boost Attendance Next Season

As my son and I get ready to our final home Texans game of the season (mercifully), I noticed on the ticket that today is "Fan Appreciation Day" at Reliant Stadium.  Every year for the last game, they call out a few rows around the stadium at random and those folks win a prize.

So, it got me to thinking about what exactly the Texans will need to do to show enough fan appreciation for people to want to buy tickets for next year.  So, I came up with this:

Top 10 Tips for the Texans to Boost Attendance Next Season

10.  New head coach:  Ryan Secrest

9.  Player of the Game gets the Game Ball.  Worst player of the game must enter Thunderdome.

8.  Two Words:  Open Bar

7.  J.J. Watt continues his involvement with schools by doing every kid in H.I.S.D.'s homework all year.

6.  Team members valet park all season ticket holders' cars.

5.  Every halftime show involves a member of the coaching staff being voted off the island.

4.  Show newly released movies on the Jumbo-Tron while the game is on.

3.  For every game, a lucky will fan will be selected to be Offensive Coordinator.

2.  Arian Foster leads pre-game yoga class to help deal with the stress of upcoming game.

1.  First Round Draft Choice:  Miley Cyrus

In the meantime, I just wanted to thank Luke for being a good sport and going to all the games with me this season!


Anonymous said...

Probably the best solution for the Texans at this juncture is to move to El Paso - that is a fair distance from Houston but still within the the state and thus the team would be capable of retaining the name Texans (if we had these clowns at the Alamo, oh well!) More troubling is why CPS has not initiated actions against you for exposing your son to this team. On a serious note, however, - Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family and thank you for your efforts in this blog.
Calvin A. Hartmann

Anonymous said...

How about instead of entering the Thunderdome ... worst player the game must try to get on the elevator of Criminal Courthouse at 8:45 a.m.

Anonymous said...

Anon 10:75 -

THAT is a #1 pick!!! Must actually get on the elevator, ride it to the top without needing a shower by the time he gets off....

Anonymous said...

And at QB for the Houston Texans #2 Johnny "FF" Manziel