Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Lykos/Durfee Editorial

Pat Lykos is back in the news today with a hard-hitting, gripping and surely controversial Editorial this moring announcing that the D.A.'s Office is going to prosecute Failure to Stop and Render Aid cases.

I envisioned the scene leading up to the writing of the article in this short, one act play:

Interior: Pat Lykos’ Office. Jim Leitner is bring Lykos her morning coffee as Lykos is frowning, reading the newspaper.

PAT: Jim, I’m not happy.

JIM: I’m sorry, your Lordship. How have I failed you this time?

PAT: It’s not you, this time, you Dolt. It’s the newspapers. We haven’t done anything noteworthy in months. Hell, even that imbecile Newman hasn’t written a post on me since February.

JIM: Well, he has been busy with the elections . . .

PAT: Silence! What we need is to get back in the Public Relations game. We should make a hard-line stand on an issue that is guaranteed to generate some positive press.

JIM: We could outline a policy on how our office can assist in reducing jail over-crowding by a thorough review of the bond schedule and a critical evaluation of those people we should consider for PR bonds.

PAT: Shut up, Fool. You’re confusing me. More importantly, you’ll confuse the Public. We need something more simple. I know! I’m going to issue a statement saying I will now vigorously prosecute the unlawful taking of another’s life! Genius!

JIM: Um, we already do that, your Worship.

PAT: What?!

JIM: It’s called murder prosecutions.

PAT: Shit. What about the unlawful taking of another’s property?

JIM: That would be a theft.

PAT: Crapola. Hmm. I saw in the newspaper the other day that there have been a lot of automobile accidents where the other person drove away without helping. The public is apparently outraged.

JIM: Yes, that is a serious crime in Harris County.

PAT: My understanding is that most people don’t realize that is actually a crime.

JIM: Uh, well, actually, I’m pretty sure that most people are aware of the crime of Failure to Stop and Render Aid . . .

PAT: Silence!!

JIM: Yes, your Holiness.

PAT: I want to write an Editorial for the Chronicle, Jimbo.

JIM: You want to write it yourself?

PAT: Are you trying to be humorous, Jim? I will stab you with this pencil.

JIM: No, your Honor.

PAT: Send me Durfee. He is good with words and people seem to like him.

Enter Scott Durfee

SCOTT: You wanted to see me, Judge?

PAT: Yes, my Pretty. We are going to propose new legislation making it a crime to leave the scene of an accident.

SCOTT: You mean, Failure to Stop and Render Aid? That’s already - -

PAT: Silence!! Nothing is a law until I have told the general public that it’s a law.

SCOTT: Um, okay.

PAT: Write a letter on your electronic typing machine.

SCOTT: My computer?

PAT: Yes, that thing. Let the citizens of Harris County know that, I, their beloved and elected District Attorney will no longer allow people to leave the scene of accidents. It’s a bold, new initiative that we are taking here.

SCOTT: What initiative? Prosecuting FSRA cases?

PAT: Silence! Write the article and then bring it to me to sign.

SCOTT: Yes, Judge.

PAT: Make me look good, Durfee. It's what I pay you to do. Make the people love me.

SCOTT: I'll, uh, do what I can, Judge.

THE END

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great! Sadly though, it probably was not too far off what really happened.

This wretch is really nothing more than a barnacle of mediocrity on the ass of Harris County. She will stop at no lengths to make herslef look good while stepping on the toes of anyone who gets in her way. What she has accomplished, to those of us who live and work in and around the CJC, is shown that she is so far out of reality that she fancies herself as the greatest thing to happen to Harris County. Too bad the voters buy into her "snake oil".

It's sad. Very sad.

Anonymous said...

Now that was funny and entertaining, for a change.

Anonymous said...

Durfee resurfaces as a lykos hack. Quite entertaining. He vigourously was a defender of the Chuckster. I am surprised her heinous will associate with him. Then again, Chuck was smart enough to let Durfee protect him and the wits of Lykos and Chuck are eerily similar.

A trial prosecuted by Mr. Durfee and King Lykos would be a first (for both of them that is).

The Chronicle does it again. That was a laugher.

Anonymous said...

Stop it! You're killing me!
My side hurts......

Anonymous said...

What a joke... This is the only county I know of where you can have a major accident and then be charged with FSGI. If there is injury, it should be FSRA. This is right up there with if an officer is not injured, we cannot take resisting arrest...

Anonymous said...

Brilliant Newman! Once again, you have captured the essence of how Pat Lykos thinks and operates the District Attorney's Office.

Sad but true.

Anonymous said...

So how exactly is the DA going to crack down on FSRAs? The problem is that we cannot find these people because no one saw anything or there is no physical evidence? Therefore, are we going to look extra extra hard for them? (oh and just this past week the appeals court narrowed the ability to use deadly weapon paragraphs in FSRAs, so you may have to take that arrow out of the quiver.) Doesn't the office have a whole squad of prosecutors already who exclusively work these crashes? Are there going to be more of them now or will be they have new super human powers? And didn't she run off Diepraam, a controversial, yet still an expert in this stuff? Everyone recalls what a misd FSGI is right - a DWI that got away. Well FSRAs are typically intox assault/manslaughters that got away. So while she says all of this, she is the same DA who dismissed a vehicle crim neg hom after the guy plead guilty and got herself all in the news for dismissing a whole boatload of car cases. And the DIVERT hypocrisy is too much to swallow. This administration is nothing but a bunch of reactive politicians. How’s that study coming on all those murders back in February?

Just Sayin' said...

My God Murray that was funny.
Hollywood would pay you a fortune to write a script for a Harris County DA sitcom where reality truly is stranger than fiction: "Patsy's Patsies".
Just sayin'

Ron in Houston said...

Didn't you forget the part where Durfee knocks over a glass of water, spilling it on Lykos and she says, "I'm melting, I'm menting!"

Anonymous said...

Ronnie in Houston and Just Sayin:
The Judge rules and she is tiring of your attitudes. There is nothing funny about you or criminal behavior. She is the Wizard and your kind will melt before her under acidic tears if ever you face her. Now crawl back into your little holes from whence you came my pretties.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how that old bat is going to react when Kelly's trials start making the news from a distant county? Who knows what kind of assinine reason she'll come up with to drag her fat ass into the news.

Anonymous said...

Murray -
I made the mistake of eating a breakfast taco while reading the current article. You OWE ME a new monitor!!! (That now smells like artificial eggs)

Anonymous said...

Those aren't real eggs in the breakfast tacos? OMG!

Anonymous said...

Murray

Undoubtedly one of your best...it needs to go into the Hall of Fame.

Soooo glad I retired.

Anonymous said...

Most hit and runners are DUI.

DUI's are a leading cause of jail overcrowding.

Lykos legislated the DIVERT policy to keep DUI's out of jail.

Lykos NOW wants to hunt down and prosecute impaired FSGI's as if they were Nazi war criminals.

Thank goodness that woman does not run triage at a MASH unit....she'd treat sprained ankles before GSWs.

Anonymous said...

What's the over and under on Judge Pat having an "Et tu Durfee" moment before she is voted out in '12?

Anonymous said...

She's just trying to show that she can be as much of a douche bag as Diepram was where vehicle related crimes are concerned. Now she just needs to tweet the names of people who have been arrested, but not convicted, because that's going to make us all safer.

Rage

Anonymous said...

Very funny but I do feel sorry for Durfee. That article does not look like something he wrote. It looks like something that was edited from something he wrote.


And you know he was jazzed about writing an article with Snookems and having his name and hers forever memorialized in web and chron archive searches.


Like herpes, Lycos is forever.

Jason said...

I guess the DA's office is taking baby steps. Or maybe she's realized that there are more offenses defined in the penal code.

Rorschach said...

All of you are wrong, MOST Hit and runs are illegals, SOME of the illegals are also DUI, but even the sober ones run. and AT LEAST 70% of them are illegal. That is why what Arizona did is so important. eliminate the illegals in society and a lot of other problems go away too.

Anonymous said...

Rorscach:

Citation please.

Thanks,

Rage

Anonymous said...

Before they start figuring out on what to prosecute people for, they should learn how to read and comprehend the law. Then they can start with aggravated perjury. They can't read transcripts either, where people state in one proceeding "he had a gun", then changes their story in trial, "he didn't have a gun". Duh.. and as was stated by an Asst. D.A., "I'm not quite convinced they lied." What????? Those people at HCDA need to go! I will definitely do what I can to get those fools out of office!

Anonymous said...

If the DA's office is going to start prosecuting more of these cases, it's going to have to get HPD to actually pursue these cases. Of course, HPD doesn't pursue some of these cases because it lacks the resources and manpower(at least, according to the ORs).

Anonymous said...

You left out the seven cigarette breaks Lykos took during the course of that dialogue.