Tuesday, June 10, 2008

And the Next Sign of the CJC Apocalypse Will Be . . .


Out of a field of four, highly unlikely events, you, the Voters have decided that the most likely event to occur next (thus being the next sign of the CJC Apocalypse) will be that none-other than Dr. Victor Jay Wisner will end up on the cover of Gentleman's Quarterly Magazine.

For those of you who don't know Vic, the man is a fashion trendsetter of the highest caliber.

Some of the hottest fashion tips of the Fall that we can get from Vic include:

1) several staples will always handily fix a torn inseam.

2) if a tie was fashionable during the Nixon Administration, there's no reason it won't work now.

3) worn-out elastic on socks can easily be replaced by office-grade rubber bands

4) a tear in the seam of your suit jacket will not easily be noticed if you keep your arms at your sides.

5) when the rubber bands on your socks fail, there's nothing wrong with making your pasty-white calves visible to a jury.

AND FINALLY:

6) there's nothing wrong with delivering a closing argument with a busted zipper as long as you've stapled it properly.

Congratulations, Vic! You are a fashion model who has truly done it "your way".

4 comments:

Muck said...

Buy that man a fine cigar... or just whatever you can find at a local convience store. Never met him, but you have to love someone with that kind of.. uhm... self-confidence.

Anonymous said...

hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Please, please, PLEASE post another entry on the blog... the site of Vic's face popping up on the computer screen is frightening me, the kids, and the dog...

jigmeister said...

The 20 year old cardigans are his trademark. Maybe if the county gave him a clothing allowance. Nah, he would spend it on watching the Undertaker wrestle the Brookyn Brawler.