The Top 10 Excuses from the Harris County District Attorney's Office
for Hiring a Convicted Felon to Be an Assistant D.A.
10. The Office was just feeling kind of self-destructive ever since Drew Rountree left.
9. Someone needed to drive the Justice Trolley.
8. Still had Parental Controls activated on the Investigators' Google accounts, so there was no way they could have ever found out plainly obvious information from the Internet.
7. Hey, if the Trump Administration can employ crooks, why can't we?
6. She told us that she didn't like Keiter, either.
5. She had a law degree and a pulse. Have you seen our attrition numbers lately?
4. She came highly recommended by David Temple.
3. Leitner needed a personal trainer at his intake gym.
2. Denholm smeared ketchup all over the Criminal History portion of her job application.
1. Let's just say that with the way we've been managing our budget, a little check fraud in the future wasn't totally out of the question.