Thursday, August 20, 2009

I'll Take "Vast Left-Wing Conspiracies" for $1,000, Alex.

Local Republican Chairman Jared Woodfill came to the screeching defense of the GOP's Golden Girl Pat Lykos today with a screaming attack on the practical joker who created a fake Twitter account last week on behalf of the District Attorney.

Now, for those of you who missed the short-lived practical joke, somebody (and no, it wasn't me, but I do think it was hysterical) created a profile purporting to be Pat Lykos and started sending out Twitter "status updates" on her behalf. The status updates were clearly satirical and literally had me doubled over with laughter. Some of the highlights from "Pat" included:

-"Grabbing a smoke before going back to building the best f*cking DA's Office in the USA."

-"Going to send Hannah (Chow) to make the rounds and make sure everybody is working hard. These bastards will slack off if you let them."

And my personal favorite (in response to this post):
-"What's the matter, asshole, you don't like dogs?"

Clearly whoever was the author of the fake account had a great sense of sarcasm and humor. I even have to admit when I saw that "Pat Lykos" was following my account on Twitter, I kind of freaked out. The whole site was Political Satire at its best, in my opinion. After reading the first post, no reasonable mind would have ever believed it was really Patsy doing the posting.

Apparently Chairman Woodfill disagreed. And he had alot to say about it. Most of his response was pretty damn stupid, too.

First of all, he blamed the "vile" tweets on "most assuredly, the liberal elite".

Holy Joseph McCarthy, Batman!

Jared, seriously, I doubt it was the "wild eyed left", as you call them. It was most likely a former prosecutor who is dismayed at the absolute hatchet job that your "standard bearer for DA" has done on the Office that they used to love. Odds are that former prosecutor is probably fairly conservative in most things, but I could be wrong about that.

Next, Woodfill goes on to describe the "rock solid" Pat Lykos as a "Republican Institution". Lykos may be rock headed, but I'm having a hard time seeing her as "rock solid", man. Her erratic behavior and her wild policy swings between denying probation for illegals, yet making mandatory Pre-Trial Diversions for DWIs don't exactly paint a picture of stability. If "rock solid" "standard bearer" Pat Lykos is your role model, it is no wonder that the Harris County Republican Party took such a kick in crotch during the November elections.

Let's face facts, Mr. Chairman. The only reason that Pat Lykos won the election in November was because her opponent, Clarence Bradford, carried more baggage with him than Imelda Marcos on a Roman Holiday. She didn't win the election as much as Bradford and his past scandals lost it. If you are going to be holding onto her as a reason for the GOP to rest on their "laurels", you may be in for another rude awakening in November 2010.

Oh, and by the way, all of those phenomenal "accomplishments" you list Patsy as having accomplished are things that were in play well before she and the Gang Who Couldn't Shoot Straight came to town.

The reality of the Lykos Administration is that it has reinforced every negative stereotype that the Republican Party has ever had to defend itself against: Good Old Boy Networks, Cronyism, Enemies of Diversity, and Arrogance.

You think Lykos is helping your Party? Seriously?


Anonymous said...

Thanks to Jared and Gary Polland, I now vote Democrat. Good job assholes.

Anonymous said...

I have been to functions with Jared, he is about as slimy as they come.

Do these people realize how hated Lykos is by her employees?

Kevin Whited said...

Psst.... Hey, mystery tweeter....

If you're reading this thread, the username FakePatLykos still seems to be available.

PLEASE don't let Woodfill derail what was a fun twitter stream! :)

Anonymous said...

Chill, Jared. Lycos, like all DA's, is a politico, and criticism and hyperbole comes with the office. One of those annoying Amendments protects that.

Unknown said...

Awesome Murray! I prefer the LyinPattyLykos name but FakePatLykos is okay.

BLACK INK said...

Ironically, the only thing that will save the Harris County Republican Party in 2010 is the impending implosion of Barry Obama. Notwithstanding, Jared will,no doubt, use the results to take personal credit for reviving the corrupt Harris County Republican Party and trouncing the equally corrupt Democrats.
Politics today seems to preclude competence and promote self serving arrogance.
It is no wonder that qualified people who value integrity rarely throw their hat in the political arena and prevail.

Anonymous said...

What do you expect from party leaders whose idea of civil discourse is to show up at town halls and yell and scream every time someone tries to talk?

He's probably a birther too.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Jared doesn't get it. I'm as Conservative as they come, but he obviously puts a party label ahead of competence. Hey Jared, we're not telling you how the civil side should run. Stick to what you know.

Anonymous said...

Jared knows only one thing, the Pledge of Allegiance to the Republican Party. He like so many others (Democratic also) place party above the people they represent. The most important thing to them is the election of Republicans and the retention of Republicans in office. Jefferson is spinning in his grave.

Murray Newman said...

Everyone should be happy to hear that there is now a "Fake Pat Lykos" profile on Twitter. And no, it isn't me.

OUTRAGED said...

Anon 2:01,
Before anyone points out that Thom. Jefferson was a Democrat, his views would represent anything but today's democrat. Regardless, character should count more than mere labels anyway.
That being said, given his honorable stance on public service, he would be ashamed of today's politicians......of both parties.
Can you imagine what Thomas Jefferson would think of Pat Lykos? He would be disgusted.

Anonymous said...


Please don't speak on my behalf. You hurt the party more than help it. You are a lawyer, a plaintiff lawyer I hear, but you are the only lawyer who has practiced in this city for any time period that would have anything good to say about Pat Lykos. Please don't insult me and other republicans who are in search of quality rather than cronyism.

I will be writing a letter to the chronicle, we will see if it gets published.

We need the Duke.... said...

If the venerable John Wayne was alive and living in Harris County he would run Judge Patsy Liekos and her cronies out of town.The "Duke" would've despised Patsy as well.

Missy said...

I am totally antitwitter. That being said, I just signed up so I can learn more about fakepatlykos. Everyone needs a good chuckle in the morning!

Anonymous said...

The Duke was a friend of Judge Lykos for the record.This blog is about life at the courthouse. Give us some courthouse news.

Anonymous said...

The Duke was a wife-beating draft dodger. If a Lykos supporter thinks that's a good friend for her to have, well, I guess there's not much else to say about her character.

Anonymous said...

How long can this sour grape approach continue? Lykos is working her tail off for the county and nobody wants to recognize what strides that office has made under her leadership. Gone is the win at all cost mentality which has been replaced by justice. Get over it cry babies.

Anonymous said...

I knew the Duke and whatever flaws he may have had, he never sunk to the depths of befriending Pat Lykos.
Jared is the personification of a pissant who lives in an alternate universe and has convinced me to change parties and vote straight democrat in 2010. What a piece of garbage he put out there. Obviously Jared knows Pat about as well as he knows his constituents....NOT! Time for the pair of blow hard liars to be run out of H town.

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:45,
You must either be:
a.) a recently acquitted crook or a close family member/significant "other" of one;
b.) a delusional blue hair;
c.) in Jack & Coke withdrawal;
d.) a Lykos croney leech or
e.) all of the above.
It's time to take your medication or go rob a liquor store.

Anonymous said...

THE DUKE was to old for military service and served by making war movies which encouraged soldiers. anyone who does not know that was NEVER in the military. Yes,Judge Lykos did know John Wayne. Find something else to run her down for. Why dont you discuss the Judges who have no common sense and fill the jails? John Wayne fan

Anonymous said...

4:08, we all know John Wayne but the Duke didn't know Patsy and that was the point.
As for finding something else to run Patsy down--brotha' please you are kidding? If not, you need to get out of your cave more often. BTW, implying that any sitting judge was worse than Judge Pat back in the day is libelous.

Anonymous said...

408 you must be thrilled with Pat if you don't like putting criminals in jail.

Anonymous said...

Interesting how you think its "hysterically funny" when someone impersonates Pat Lykos and posts embarrassing comments, and yet you castigate, without any evidence, another attorney because you think he posted some anonymous comments about other lawyers. I wonder why the anonymous poster impersonating Pat Lykos, who is almost certainly an attorney, doesn't "diminish us all," but Andy Nolen's alleged conduct does?

Anonymous said...

Idiots - Lykos never knew John Wayne, and who gives a shit if she did? She got a signed photo courtesy of a democrat who is now on the bench.

As for Anon 2:45, please list with specificity what Lykos has done to "work her tail off." And please list with specificity the "win at all costs" acts that you reference. Answer: Lykos talks a lot of shit but has no idea what is going on in her office. That is largly due to the fact that she has never practiced law.

Electorate, you can do better. Much better. Most people could give a rat's ass if the DA is republican or democrat, so long as the person is qualified. The DA's office has interns with more trial experience than Pat or Hannah Chow.

Anonymous said...

Hey Pilgrim:
Who the fuck exactly is this Pat Lykos?
I googled a photo of it and I shit my pants.

Murray Newman said...

Anon 5:14 p.m.,
Lykos absolutely diminishes us all as a group, because she has done everything she can to turn the District Attorney's Office into a joke. When Donna Goode gets referred to the Disciplinary Committee by Roger "Holier than Thou" Bridgwater for questioning policies, you've got yourself a Totalitarian Government. If you're comfortable with them making the big decisions regarding criminal justice in Harris County, then more power to you.

The difference between someone posting a clear parody of an elected official versus somebody anonymously posting as an unsatisfied client of an attorney is the difference between day and night. If you are too slow witted to distinguish the difference between those two actions then, well . . . I guess you are a prime Lykos supporter.

Anonymous said...

Life After Esquire should count herself lucky.

Anonymous said...

I am not a prime Lykos supporter. I have been around here much longer than you and I practiced law in front of Pat Lykos, but not if I could help it. I can't stand the woman and would vote for Daffy Duck over her. FYI, the DA's office is a totalitarian regime. She is the elected District Attorney who runs the office. She makes the rules, and she calls the shots. It is not a democracy or even a representative republic. It is not run by committee. What is it about that that you don't get? And if you don't see the similarities in the anonymous attacks and the juvenile behavior behind them, then you are the slow witted one.

Anonymous said...

"FYI, the DA's office is a totalitarian regime.:

Why should it be?