The long awaited "Move Memo" from the 6th Floor at the D.A.'s Office finally arrived over the weekend. Now, keeping in mind that the Division Chief who retired (which caused the need for the Moves in the first place) has been gone for almost two months now, it boggles my mind that Lykos and the Gang Who Couldn't Shoot Straight really needed all that time.
But, the good news for prosecutors is that the Move Memo has now finally arrived.
The bad news is that Lykos, Bridgwater and Jimmy apparently drafted it over a few too many Jack and Cokes at the TDCAA Seminar in Corpus.
Here are some of the highlights comings from this brilliantly crafted document:
1. Marc Brown was promoted to Division Chief of Grand Jury. That's good news, because Marc had been quite an excellent Division Chief prior to the Lykos Administration. They had decided to demote him to a regular Chief because of political reasons when they took over. Good to see that they came to their senses and put him back at a level he earned and deserves. The downside to that is that Marc is one of the most brilliant minds in the Office when it comes to Search and Seizure issues and drafting Search Warrants. His mind is going to turn to mush in the Grand Jury Division from lack of use.
Seriously Gang, you aren't utilizing one of your skill players in the appropriate position. You did good by making him a Division Chief again, but you need to get him in a place where he's putting his mind to work.
2. Kari Allen is being moved to Special Crimes. That's good news for the longtime veteran, and she'll do great in that job. The downside is that the Gang apparently forgot to replace her. So, the 338th is currently without a chief.
3. Katie Warren is being moved to Family Violence. Katie is a very skilled trial lawyer and she'll do great in the Family Violence Division, which is filled with tough cases and recanting complainants. The downside is that the Gang forgot to replace her, as well. So the 263rd is going to be running a bit short in their staffing without a Felony Two in that court.
4. Jen Falk is going to the 338th as a "Co-2". Jen is also a rising star in the Trial Bureau with very strong trial skills. She will be joining David Nachtigall as a Felony Two in the 338th. So, by my count, that leaves no chief in the 338th, no Two in the 263rd, but now two "Twos" in the 338th. I have nothing to add to this, other than WTF??
5. All moves are effective Immediately. Wow. Although Move Memos have always been notoriously made at the last minute, the worst I ever recall was being informed on a Friday that I was going to be in a new court the following Monday. I thought that was bad. This memo is dated on Monday, September 28, 2009, and states the moves are to take place "Immediately".
What does that mean exactly? Drop everything and proceed directly to your nearest court like a warped game of Musical Chairs? Seriously? The nimwits on the 6th Floor took two months to devise the moves, and now they wanted it in full effect instantaneously? You've got to be kidding me.
Good job, Gang! Y'all really did a bang up job this time.
Next time you may want to try putting all of your prosecutors' names on pieces of paper and then have chimpanzees stick the the names on a flow chart.
That would probably make more sense.
And it certainly wouldn't take two months.