Monday, September 21, 2009

Memo of the Highest Importance

Prosecutors at the Harris County D.A.'s Office got a rare e-mail from the 6th Floor last week. Given the Upper Administration's general reluctance to send out Office Policy via e-mail, it clearly had to be something of the utmost importance to warrant the All Prosecutors e-mail, right?

What could it possibly be?

The long awaited and long overdue memo regarding promotions and moves?

Nah.

An explanation about how the investigators could be potentially about to lose their TCLEOSE certification if the Office doesn't find the money to pay for their training by October?

Nope.

A schedule for whose turn it is to walk the Office Dog?

Not even that.

This e-mail was for those slacking Assistant D.A.s who haven't changed the standard boiler-plate language at the end of the each of their e-mails (regarding Work Product and Privacy, etc.) to reflect that the elected D.A. is now a "she" and not a "he".

It's a controversial and hot topic issue, but apparently some of you lazy prosecutors hadn't ever changed it. You guys really need to watch your pronouns if you truly want to keep looking good, thinking smart and winning.

Now, hopefully you will all take care of this immediately, because if the 6th Floor has to take a break from redecorating again to send a follow up e-mail, some heads are going to roll.

NOTE: Special thanks to my NYC grammar editor for pointing out how bad I am with contractions.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Who was the messenger?

jigmeister said...

He was appropriate.

Rage Judicata said...

He was appropriate.

Androgynous Pat?

Anonymous said...

Hey Jig, You have forgotten the most important and only duty of the ADAs is to make Lykos look good. She can't buy votes so she has to fool the voters.

Xi said...

Don't be foolish 3:49, fooling fools is easy? Our head fool is foolproof at foolery, fool. Look at the fools who support the fool and fools the fool has hired to fool.
On the other hand, educating the voters truthfully with integrity is a daunting undertaking that is rarely appreciated or successful.
So I guess the fool ain't that much of a fool after all....

As for fellow ADAs turning the beast into a beauty, PUHLEEEZE.....she's been too badly beaten with the ugly stick.

Anonymous said...

So how many hits a day are you getting on the blog?

Anonymous said...

More important, how many hits is Lykos taking as a result of this blog and others spreading the word.

Anonymous said...

I don't care about this - how about an entry about the proposed public defenders office - I'd like to know how everyone feels about that.