Top 10 Reasons the Chronicle Endorsed Pat Lykos for D.A.
10. Despite years of chain smoking, she still has dazzling white teeth like the Osmonds.
9. The way her eyes twinkle before she calls other judges "f*ck face".
8. She makes Clarence Bradford look a little more competent.
7. Because dirty campaigning and baseless allegations sell papers, dammit!
6. Lykos stating the same meaningless things over and over again make Lisa Falkenberg's articles seem a little less repetitive and irrelevant, by comparison.
5. Drug Legalization Advocate Dean Becker wasn't running.
4. She reminds Chronicle editor Jeff Cohen of his great-grandmother.
3. Threats of "I'll get you, my pretties" during meeting with the Editorial Review Board.
2. She is rumored to be in possession of nude photographs of Alan Bernstein.
1. Every fifth time she cites "The Rule of Law", the Editorial Board gets a free pizza from Pizza Hut.
2 comments:
Hehe! That was brilliant!
Although reason number two did make me throw up in my mouth more than just a little bit...
AHCL
I've really grown to love your sense of humor. I think you maybe missed your calling. Maybe you should be in New York writing for Letterman.
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